Bumps in the Road

Back in March when I started this site, I really wasn’t my normal optimistic self that it was going to last because I didn’t think the weight that I had just gained would take. It never has before, so I didn’t have any reasonable expectation that it would this time, other than having hopes that I was going to use sheer grit and determination that I possibly hadn’t given it before. Besides, creating a site and getting some readers (or a lot of readers is even better) creates accountability. If you want to be sure you do something, tell the whole world about it and see who calls you out on it when you slip, I say.

I decided to look back at my stats archive that I was keeping when I first began the site, and I’m glad I’d been doing that. I don’t miss doing all of that work now, because it was a lot of work, but I’m very pleased to be able to remind myself of where I came from on this journey.

A little weight history

Since high school, I’ve always bounced between 108-115lbs. Nothing ever seemed to make a difference one way or another on weight gain or weight loss that I was aware of, other than a few nice days on Prednisone that would take me up as high as 118 for a day or two. I’d “write home about it” and then the weight would be gone again, back down to 113 or something.

The only time I had a really, really bad bout with my weight was just before we got married. I’d been on IVs three times that year, and the stress of Beautiful graduating, me hankering to ask her to marry me, and then the wedding planning actually took a physical toll on my body. CF is amazingly cruel that way. It was to be my happiest time of my life, but I was fighting my body. I know I was 95lbs, but stopped weighing myself then, figuring I had hit 92 or 93lbs by our wedding. That next week after, I gained 10lbs! I was back in triple digits and was soon back in my post-high school weight roller coaster.

The difference

So, it is valid to wonder why I’ve gained so much weight this time and kept it on. It’s been a combination of a lot of things and it still wasn’t without some bumps in the road. I weighed 107 on Christmas 2009, 115lbs on February 25th, 124lbs on April 7th, and then went back down below 120 for most of the rest of next 6 weeks. I broke the 130lb mark on June 21st, pushing my BMI up to 22.5 now. The doctor wants me at 23, according to my clinic report card they mail out after a visit..

I still managed to lose weight in those weeks around graduation (GRRR!!) because of the stress I had to get the grades I needed, in one class in particular, to qualify for my degree. It was a constant weight on my shoulders that needed Xanax and Vicodin on a daily basis to control the physical effects of. I was so stressed, I wasn’t blogging as much, eating as much, and I sure wasn’t enjoying life.

Then I graduated!

Everything normalized within a week or so and work took off, along with my weight once again. Coming back from a week of vacation relaxing and eating, I topped 130lbs, so I think I have my combination of what works for me. When I hit 135 or 140 as my morning weight, I’m going to scale back to maintain weight, save some money, and not feel like a bloated cow every evening. Wow, that will be nice.

• Megase – Still not sure how it works, but it definitely switches off the brain’s signal that I should stop eating, allowing me to eat until I’m clearly distended.
• Zenpep – Eating like that wouldn’t do any good if I’m not absorbing it properly, and switching to Zenpep seems to have been a boost in my quality of life over others.
• Vitamins – They say they help with absorption, I’m taking them and gaining weight, so I put them on the list.
• Prilosec – I was getting really bad heartburn on Zantac 150 and was probably suffering early enzyme breakdown from my acid levels. Prilosec cured me within 24 hours of making the switch off of Zantac.
• Boost Plus – Who wouldn’t say “no” to an extra 1,000 Calories per day when you’re trying to gain weight? Just down one after every meal and kick back and let it all rest.
• Snacks – I suck at snacking, but I’m learning. I’ve learned that if Beautiful grabs a snack, I had better do it, too, because it’s obviously “snack time.”
• Extreme meals – I typically dish up 2-3 times the food than I put on Beautiful’s plate. Sometimes there is a protest over keeping it all to myself, but not usually. Mainly only when it’s a particularly tasty meal. Here is an example of an extreme meal.

I really can’t wait for this weight journey to be over and to live life as Fatboy to see how my lung function and infection control improve from being compliant at a healthy weight. Don’t worry about the site, because I’ve got a lot more content than my weight. I’m a CF expert of my own body, so there is plenty of content to come… and some surprises soon.