From the Blog

The Coolest Medical Procedure Iโ€™ve Ever Had

This entry is part [part not set] of 4 in the series The History of Fatboy

Surgical TrayWe, as CFers, are no strangers to uncomfortable, if not horrible, medical procedures. Enemas, enteroclysis, PICC lines, central ports, and a slew of sinus surgeries. Today, I get to share with you the coolest procedure I’ve ever had done to me.

I can remember having issues with my meconium ileus scar getting infected since the 7th grade or so. Over on the left side was a dot of a hole on each side of the scar, as if I’d had my belly pierced. I often wondered if I could thread a paperclip from one side to the other. Every month or two, I’d notice it start to turn red, puff out, and then become a pussy mess that I could squeeze clean over the course of a few days. It happened without fail.

After this had gone on for years (I think I was 18 or 19), I finally decided I’d had enough of this and decided it warranted going to my primary care doctor to look at it. I was still going to a pediatric doctor since I hadn’t transitioned both my CF and non-CF care to adult services, so this may have been one of the coolest thing she had ever done.

Her initial plan was to cut it open and drain the fluid. That happened (thankfully with local anesthetic). What happened next was the bomb. She found a white mass inside the incision. There I am on my back with my hands folded under my head to pull my neck up in a half sit-up to watch everything as she starts to tug on the mass with her tweezers. Up comes my entire scar band and abdominal wall with it! Up at least 2″ from normal!

I got my first glimpse of it as it reached the apex, and I would describe it as a white rope with an “I’ve been underwater for 20 years” look to it. She gave me more local and started cutting around the base, but not cutting it off, until it freed itself. I had just given birth to a 1″ rope from one of my series of surgeries as a newborn. It was a stitch that had developed a protective cyst around it, creating the white appearance.

Man, I wish those were cell phone camera/video days! I would so be posting that on YouTube or selling to the highest bidder for a freaky medical show on Discovery Channel.

She stitched me up with 2 stitches (great idea!, right?) and sent me home. Oddly enough, other than the stitches that temporarily held a septum splint in place after my second sinus surgery, these were my first stitches since the ones that caused the cyst. These came out fine and I made them check that the whole thing came out.

That’s my coolest medical procedure – what’s yours?

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Comments

  1. Mine, of course has nothing to do with CF, but it was getting a titanium plate put in my wrist. Incredibly painful for a few days, but it makes for an amazing x-ray and doesn't set off airport alarms. They had to get it under all the tendons, vessels, and other tissues and then fasten it down with a bunch of titanium screws that go all the way through the bone and stick out the other side just a tiny bit.

  2. That IS pretty cool. Would have loved to see that video. Im addicted to TRAUMA and love to watch medical procedured/surgeries!

    • I haven’t seen that show, but there was one about a decade ago when we first got cable that was all surgical videos. I loved it! If everyone knew what their non-beer “beer bellies” looked like on the inside with all of that yellow fat stuck to their organs, it would change lives everywhere. My favorite was probably a hip replacement. He was practically a carpenter.

  3. You need to post the x-ray like I have for my enteroclysis.

  4. I looked for it when I make that comment, but now I can’t find it. It must still be in the Linux box & didn’t get copied over yet.

  5. I looked for it when I make that comment, but now I can't find it. It must still be in the Linux box & didn't get copied over yet.

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